NOTES FROM BEN: JAN 2001 Think way back to the far off land of Reed and days when a guy named Ben would stagger out of the library and harass you in the lobby or make inspired visits with Hung to your room at the pleasure of your roomate. A couple days ago when I woke on the beach in Manuel Antonio on the Pacific coast of Costa Rica, took the required sunrise bath in the surf and layed in my hammock enjoying the spectacular beauty of jungle merging with beach, beach with sea and sea with dramatic offshore rocks and islands, as my cook Peter prepared our breakfast to rival any a person might buy on my nifty camp stove that works with any flammable liquid, my brain congured up thoughs from a quite different scene of Reed, the question of my return and I thought about you for a while, thought I'd write to say hi and see how life was treating you. Take care, learn, learn, learn and god bless the queen. -Ben how and where are you? I am about to depart on an epic trip to South America, I've just done a couple week of commercial fishing for dunguness crab and with the few days remaining I am preparing to depart. People ask my why I'm going and I don't know how to answer them, it is a very complicated answer. I want to communicate to you many things now that I cannot do in one sided monolouge. Today I appear more mature and adult like than I did one year ago, I am no more capable and only marginaly more educated but the difference has something to do with a loss. It is not a loss of inspiration or even hope, put I think one of purpose and ambition. When I turned 20 on the beaches of Baja with a corona in my hand and countless thoughts in my head the era of undirected ambition and motivation took a mysterious blow. As you feel it necessary get some letters in front and back of your name for legitamacy I feel some parallel things. I am a big fan of options and inaction on my fronts at this juncture in life weakens many of these praised options. I am speaking on all fronts, not just educationaly, proffessionaly, or personaly. I have full faith in my ability to do whatever I desire, but am profoundly confused as to what that is. I find contridiction in almost any path and am finding it difficult to make decisions without a while back on the island of Trinidad where Peter and I were visiting Ethan where his is "working" on a ridiculously nice sailboat I felt as though I could really relate to the insanity of the British as I'm sure you're currently coping. They drive on the wrong side of the road. They all do though so it sort of works, but the situation is exacerbated in Trinidad where the police cannot afford breathalysers or radar, so both drunk driving and speeding are functionally legal. If you haven't experience the thrill of driving on the wrong side of the road yourself I strongly recommend it, it may be difficult it obtain permission as I had to result to stealing/borrowing a rental car from this french girl Ethan knew. The three of us had an absolutely brilliant time for the week I stayed, learning the local dance the whine, cooking fish on the beach for peters 21st birthday after crossing the northern mountain range and smoking copious amounts of this plant that seems to grow in abundance on the island and is dispensed by Rastafarian which make up about 45% of the total population, exploring off shore islands and an abandoned leper colony with a 8-foot dinghy, all the while giggling like 12 year old girls and eating exsisit meals prepared by my former personal chief Peter, who decided to stay in Trinidad and get a job on a sailboat going north. I didn't sleep for a long time and a few days later found myself in Manaus, Brazil where I got on a boat for a week with a hammock space and floated down the Amazon, starring at surrounding jungle, avoiding fights with big drunk police officers, attempting to expand my Portugese vocabulary, and defeating the French in chess in a vain attempt to demonstrate not all Americans are fools. I've been here in Belem for a few days undergoing a self directed intensive culinary tour of Brazilian sea food before I head to Olinda for Carnival in the next couple of days after I get this magic piece of plastic in the mail that I can use to exchange for goods and services, and generally improve my standard of living.